Talking To Your Child About Gender “X”
By the end of January, Washington state will become the second state (California will soon be the third) providing natives with a third sex option on their birth certificates and state documents. In just a few weeks, Washingtonians will be able to change their current “male” or “female” designations to “X.” Once again, another move to re-write the biblical definition of one’s DNA.
More and more students (and adults) are contacting our ministry with gender and transgender questions.
As a parent, this topic is one you need to be prepared to discuss with your child. And, you need to be pro-active in having this conversation. I talk often with parents about creating moments that matter – – a moment of opportunity to engage your child on the issues that matter most to you and to God. Create such a moment with your entire family around this topic. Use dinner-time or a family devotional night as an opportunity for discussion. Remember, you are the greatest influential voice in your child’s life. Use your influence as an opportunity to instill truth. Here are a few thoughts for you to consider as you help your child navigate through this ever-important cultural issue.
Give Your Child The Right Questions
Your child is looking to you for answers but h/she doesn’t always know which questions to ask. Consider beginning a moments that matter by dropping a variety of questions in a jar and then having each family member take a turn drawing a question from the jar to answer. Here are a few questions to kick-start the conversation:
What do you like most about being a boy/girl?
What do your friends say about how they believe they were created?
Do you believe what the bible says about how you were made is true? Why or why not?
What does “transgender” mean?
Give Satan Credit
Satan is leading the charge for gender confusion and transgender equality. He badly wants to confuse your child about h/her gender. John 8:44 reminds us that “He (Satan) was a murderer from the beginning and has not stood in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he speaks from his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of liars.” Satan knows that if he can cause gender confusion and doubt in your child’s mind, he has a chance of getting h/her to buy the lie that gender is a choice, and more importantly, embrace a mindset and lifestyle completely void of biblical truth and godliness. Reminding your entire family what you are up against with Satan is important. Knowing that he is the enemy is critical. Moving forward with prayer for protection against the enemy is equally as important.
Keep Calm & Speak Truth
You are the authority in your child’s life. This doesn’t mean you have all the answers all of the time. There will continually be really smart people who are really good at trying to convince your child that God got it all wrong when it comes to gender. You are going to have to work hard to not get caught up in the game. Stick to the truth. The truth is: gender is created by God – period. God made all humans either male or female. Strive to explain to your child that some people have challenging lives as children, and as adults. Life, relationships, painful seasons, disappointments, and more can have a way of influencing how we interpret life, sexuality, relationships, and more. People get hurt and confused. As a result, some might wish or believe they are the opposite sex. This is why scripture must be the basis for your line of defense. No matter a persons home life, situation, or struggle, God’s Word is clear!
Let Scripture Do The Talking
Fortunately, God gives us the answers we really need, though some people may not like or accept the answers He gives. Continue to share these scriptures with your child:
He created them male and female and blessed them.
From the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Remember That Sin Plays A BIG Role In This Debate
A secular mindset is increasingly working to capture the hearts and minds of our children. Many have been deceived into believing that morality and gender is simply a choice, such as choosing Coke or Pepsi. Without the foundation of God’s Word, there is no clear basis upon which our children can form a conclusion about their sexuality. Sin has effected everything. Matthew 15:19 says, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” Because of sin, there will continue to be confusion and the distortion of truth as it relates to the choice of gender.
Remind your child often that gender is created by God, and that everyone was created either a male or female, not an “x” (Genesis 1:26-27) from the beginning of time. Look for creative ways to tell your child that h/she was created by God exactly in the way He desired. Continually affirm your love for your child. Let h/her know that you always want to be the #1 source of information in h/her life. Communicate to your child that you are always approachable and that no topic or conversation is ever off-limits.
1 John 5:15 reminds us, “This is the confidence we have before Him: Whenever we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” Consistent prayer for and consistent prayer time with your child is critical in the fight your family faces against the enemy. Specifically, can build unity, trust, and confidence among the entire family.